I am afraid to write a Medium article

I write emails, presentations, business plans, points-of-view, and company-wide memos. I like writing. I like when I get an email thanking me for my perspective on this topic or that. I don’t concern myself with how my professional writing will be perceived or how it my affect one’s perspective of me.

I spend a decent amount of time doing non-work related writing. I write articles about the impact of new technology, the future of work, marketing and advertising, brand strategy, and analytics. I take my time when writing. I copy edit.I pour over word choice and grammar. I take pride in the work. Once these articles are done, I read them once. I rarely ever read them a second time, and most often I delete them. I have finished articles on my notes app and tucked away in unnamed word documents. Sadly, almost everything that I have written outside of a professional context has never been read by anyone other than me.

I have imagined hundreds of articles. I imagine a world where I exchange emails with people with similar interests debating my articles and theirs. I really just imagine a world where people (or anyone for that matter) read what I write. This world remains in my imagination until I choose to press the ‘Publish’ button.

I tell myself that the writing is just for me — a cathartic endeavor. The truth is that I am scared.

I have read a lot about how to start writing online. I have read articles on the optimal length of a post and how to select the best image to gain the most traction. The time I spend learning is supposed to help me build the confidence to push that green button at the top of my screen. But I know deep down I am obfuscating my fear. I read these articles as a distraction specifically designed to suppress my fear deeper and deeper.

I am told that the best way to start is to start. That is what I am doing. I am trying to close the gap between my imagination and reality. I would like to say that I feel proud or even good about this article, but I don’t. I am terrified. I hope that this article shares the fate of all others that I have written; I hope that no one sees or reads it other than me.

On the off chance you did read this, check back in with me. In the future I hope to write about the past, present and future marketing and advertising.

So here it goes.